chapter-3

well i thought the rutt was gone ...i thought that i was in a better place now...blah blah blah...but guess what nope bam there you r back again at the same place where you started...i know my problems aint unique so that is why im hopin someone would have a solution for them some where...anyone???
why is everythin in life such a hard effort its so much work i mean i get it ppl say in books and all be yourself and it wont matter as only those who really like you or want you will be around you...hello did they ever live in the real world??? if i leave all my issues my hangup's,my problems out in the open you think anyone would stick around??? i shouldnt lay my problems on my friends i think, they mite have enuf of their own but bloody fucking hell where do i go with how i feel everytime" i have to be da understanding one, the one who looks at the bigger picture."
i want to be selfish very selfish at times... anythin wrong with demanding that people also see my problems rather than just thinking of me when they need a shoulder to cry...why is there this need for me to be at my best behaviour always... so that my friends dont get offended...so that they dont feel im talking bout my problems only or that im feeling bad about smthing that they did,said or what-so-ever...WHY
i just want to crumble into pieces and hope someone anyone is there to pick them up cause i hv enuf of putting myself together everytime i crumble...

life-less ordinary...chapter-2

elo,
well here we go again just didnt want to get out of bed but...yes da same old drama...should i or shouldnt i...its like draggin myself out of bed at da last possible minute...i know im not the first person neither am i da last to feel this but...i am doin what i love...my work satisfies me...i fulfills me...but still cant seem to shake off this feelin...this feelin that wants me to escape it all...get lost in a world of constant state of carefree...i think i was thrust in this state...this state of responsibilty a little a lot too soon...dnt get me wrng dnt wanna run away from da responsibility...just need to take a break...seriously...a big break...

the beginnin...

elo...
a life-less ordinary begins today...and it sure does begin on a sad note...da more tht one tries to keep things simple they just come crashin down...rather its like splat in ur face...as i sit here i cant help but think...i know think let my mind wander off into places tht i thought i had dealt wid or moved away from...its at times like these tht it really does get to me ...da fact tht im livin a life which is ahh a convinent lie...too scared to face my deamons...forget what da world has to say...i go thru my days laughin bout simple things,enjoyin simple pleasures appearin all held together nd strong...wen da reality is tht i happen to be sittin here all by myself...i mite be earning my livin rather handsomely...mite be enjoyin all the pleasures tht life offers...but i feel tired exhausted...its like i hv this duty to be strong and all together...like i cant breakdown and cry...its this feelin tht actually gets me down...no matter how much i mite try just cant shake this feelin tht it doesnt all rest on my shoulders...i know one thing tht i cant even frame my thoughts together ...one read and this is evident in my work...MAYBE TMRW WOULD BE A DIFFERENT STORY...yup could be...